His way is perfect

So much has happened in the last three months! I can hardly believe I have been in Colorado that long, but I just had my 90 day review at work, so it must be true. :)


Last weekend was tough. I was an emotional wreck, which was only compounded by being physically exhausted. God knew exactly what I needed though, and in His Sovereignty, last weekend was the Ladies Retreat for RMARBC.


Let's start at the beginning though. Remember my New Year's Resolution? I vowed I would make five handmade gifts for five different people. The first was my brother and sister-in-law's anniversary gift. And I had another great idea...unfortunately, genius always strikes at the most inconvenient of times. Yes, my craftiness reaches its peak around midnight. So, I decided to decoupage a little box for a special four year old in my life. Did I do any of the prep work ahead of time, such as choosing pictures, cutting them out and arranging them artfully? Nope! Although I think my project turned out rather well, staying up til 2am may not have been the best idea -- especially since I had to work the next day. Oops. Perhaps I will learn from my mistake and plan ahead next time...here are some pics:

I should mention I also decided to bake a scone before all this madness. And, as promised I will post the recipe, just not yet since I don't have the recipe in front of me. Soon though...

What else? Ah yes, the waterworks. For those of you who know me well, you know I absolutely hate crying in front of anyone. It is embarassing, draws too much attention and makes me feel vulnerable. To make matters worse, I couldn't explain why I was crying because I honestly had no idea. So here I was at ladies retreat, trying to muster up enough energy to make it through Friday night and I just burst into tears! Not wanting to be a distraction, I got up and left. I was bewildered - why in the world am I crying? I figured I would just need a few minutes to calm down and then could return for the rest of the evening. Wrong. Throughout the entire weekend these episodes of random cry fests were repeated, and I had no clue as to what would set me off next. On Sunday morning I lost it when someone was sharing a story about his elk hunting experience. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ELK HUNTING! What is going on with me???? I thought perhaps it was my subconscious telling me that I needed to try this experience or maybe I was secretly jealous. And of course music was dangerous. Music has such an emotive quality and singing was next to impossible because I could barely get the words out before another outburst of tears. (It probably didn't help that I kept singing songs about waiting on the Lord and surrendering my life to Him)  All weekend long I questioned why this was happening and what was wrong with me. God worked on me through the challenges during ladies retreat and hearing others share how He was working in their lives. I realized that there were some areas of my life that I wasn't giving completely to His control. There were situations that I wanted to change, people that I missed dearly and ministries I desperately want to be involved in. But God's timing is different, better than my own. He humbled me and forced me to let go of everything I was clinging to, placing my trust in, and just let Him have complete control of my life. I am so very thankful that He doesn't let me remain the same, rather He places trials and uncertainties in my life to remind me where my focus needs to be. I am such a stubborn, selfish, proud disobedient child! My concerns were about temporary things, I was worried about myself and God drastically changed my perspective. And the humbling thing about the entire weekend is that God brought many people across my path that were struggling with similar issues...hurting, wondering why -- and my tears (the very thing that I hated the most) opened a door for conversation and encouragement. I might have missed every single opportunity had my focus not been shifted. And so, I can only give glory and praise to God!

One final comment and then I will close. For four long years I prayed that God might bring me here...and now I am officially a Colorado resident. I even have the papers to prove it! Here is my car modeling her new look -- doesn't she look fine? ;)

Settling In

Recently I realized that I have been in Colorado for three months now. My 90 day review at work is this next week, I'm getting together all my forms, etc for myself and Esme to become Colorado residents and I'm getting involved at church and in the community. I know from experience that if I don't find something profitable to do with my free time, I will spend too much time sitting around feeling sorry for myself. So, in an effort to hopefully delete that activity from my schedule I'm trying to be proactive by getting involved right away. While in DSM I joined a community choir and determined I would find something similar here -- and I have! Monday evening is the first rehearsal for Soli Deo Gloria, a local community chorus that meets weekly and gives free concerts. I'm a bit apprehensive as this is the *first* time I've done this sort of thing on my own...usually I have a buddy to drag along. However, I am being brave and stepping out of my comfort zone -- and praying that God will give me opportunities to impact people around me. Also (and I'm REALLY excited about this) I discovered a local non-profit organization that runs a crisis pregnancy center here in the springs. I have such a passion for this ministry and am praying that I will be able to get involved as soon as possible. Not only do I agree with their mission statement, but they also have evening and weekend hours, which means I will actually be available to serve as a lay counselor...which is where my heart is. What a privilege to be used as God's vessel to offer hope to those who are in seemingly hopeless situations! I've filled out the application, found people to vouch for me and now I just have to wait for the organization to contact me for an interview. I'll keep everyone posted, don't worry.


Today I did something that is *almost* unheard of -- I got up BEFORE noon on a Saturday! Not only that, but I went downtown and walked three miles to raise support/awareness for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Unfortunately, I didn't make it in any of these pics (prob a good thing considering I skipped the shower this morning) but there was a great turn-out...and lots of good looking volunteers. ;)

the start/finish line 

(unlike the 5k fun run on the Office we walked a big circle instead of walking three miles away from our starting destination and then having to find a ride back)

tents for the many teams/sponsors involved

located at America the Beautiful Park in the heart of downtown Colorado Springs