Learning to live in silence

In the past several months I have been learning so many different things. I've learned to practice patience, although I'm still working on that one. I've learned to trust, even when I'm tempted to doubt and despair. I've learned to step out in faith and be willing to put aside preconceived notions of how I think my life should proceed. I've learned how vital encouraging words can be when in the midst of trials. I've learned that sometimes just being there for someone can make all the difference. Most importantly, and intertwined with all the previous lessons, I've learned how powerful prayer is in the life of a Christian.

Several friends have been challenging me to focus on growing my prayer life. I have kept prayer journals in the past to record how God specifically answers certain requests, and that serves as an encouragement and challenge. I even have a schedule of sorts:

• Sunday ~ witnessing opportunities
• Monday ~ self-improvement
• Tuesday ~ health concerns
• Wednesday ~ full-time Christian workers and missionaries
• Thursday ~ family
• Friday ~ friends
• Saturday ~ thanksgiving

This helps to keep me on track and organized, although there are things that I pray for on a daily basis as well. However, I have become increasingly aware of the need to have a constant attitude of prayer. When this is my focus, I immediately run to Jesus no matter how big or small the issue might seem.

As expected, I like to at least carry the illusion that I'm in control of my life. That is not what God desires though. When I experience uncertainty and know there is nothing I can do to change my circumstances, I feel completely helpless. That is exactly where God wants me to be. And somehow, He provides peace that is beyond human comprehension in the midst of the chaos.

This past summer has been one filled with struggles, soul-searching, sorrow, surprises, supreme happiness, serving, serenity and seeming silence from God. I've been faced with disappointments, discovered new possibilities, realized responsibilities, experienced joys, and every step of the way, He was there with me. I know that now, even though it didn't feel that way at times. I was having a hard time believing that God was working, and didn't understand His silence. In the Psalms we are commanded to pour out our hearts before God, and that is exactly what I was doing. But it seemed as though my cries were falling on deaf ears, that God did not care, or wasn't present.

 The following is an excerpt from a devotional that greatly impacted me and how I thought about God's response to my prayers.

AFTER GOD'S SILENCE -- WHAT?

"When He had heard therefore that he (Lazarus) was sick,
 He abode two days in the same place where He was."
~John 11:6~

"Has God trusted you with a silence -- a silence that is big with meaning? 

God's silences are His answers. Think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything analogous to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking for a visible answer? God will give you the blessing you ask if you will not go any further without them; but His silence is the sign 

that He is bringing you into a marvelous understanding of Himself. 

Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand a bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, praise Him, He is bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the answer in time 

is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. 

A wonderful thing about God's silence is that the contagion of His stillness gets into you, and you become perfectly confident --'I know God has heard me.' His silence is the proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that He will bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of silence. 

If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, He will give you the first sign of His intimacy -- His silence."

taken from My Utmost for His Highest

by Oswald Chambers

Think of how Mary and Martha must have felt when it seemed as if their pleas for help went unheeded by Christ. They believed that God had the power to heal, and trusted He would do so...only to be faced with watching helplessly as their brother suffered and died. But God wasn't finished, and not only does He have the ability to heal, but He possesses the power to conquer death! His purpose was to show those observing that nothing is impossible, that with God ALL things are possible. He worked a miracle, and in doing so, brought glory to His Father and changed many lives for eternity. Those loving sisters thought they knew what was best and despaired when all seemed lost. But Jesus used that opportunity to show them that His way was better, and taught them in the process. They had to wait in silence to experience that miracle, and God trusted them with that silence. And even in the midst of that seeming silence, He was working. If He was working then, I can trust that His plan is unfolding now, because He remains the same yesterday, today and forever!

"Stand off in faith believing that what Jesus said is true,

though in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing."

Oswald Chambers