February 14th

I have a confession. I HATE  valentine's day. There, I said it. I've never understood the purpose and have always thought it was a bit silly to reserve one day to somehow prove your love to another. It's over commercialized, forced and contrived. Even as a child I can remember wondering why we were making fancy boxes and giving cards to people we didn't even like. If you love someone, it should be evident on a daily basis, not just once a year, right?

And why does the guy always take the fall if things don't go 'according to plan'? That is unfair to place ALL the responsibility on the man. And no, I don't hate valentine's day because I'm single and bitter. I didn't understand the fuss or really enjoy it when I was dating someone. Although I tried not to ruin the day for others who enjoyed it, it took self control to not paint everything black. 

Then, three years ago on this day, my beloved Granny slipped away. She left a legacy and we still celebrate her life, but I won't see her again this side of glory. That event certainly didn't help the situation or make me wish to celebrate this 'holiday' any more than before.

And yet...last weekend I found myself surrounded by vintage valentines, brightly colored paper, cheerful stickers and an array of markers. I wrote special notes, created colorful cards and prepared to send these missives to many friends and loved ones. Why?

Because God can redeem anything -- even valentine's day. I have been learning that perfect love casts out fear. So I focused on that kind of love while writing...the love really worth celebrating! I enjoy sending snail mail whether it be cards, letters, postcards or packages and this was an excuse to do just that. 

But in the process, I learned so much. God reminded me that His love is unconditional and never changes in intensity. He shows me that love in tangible ways on a daily basis. And He wants me to share that love with others. 

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So, while I will probably never be a proponent for celebrating valentine's day, I can get behind the idea of promoting a God whose very character is love. That is what I choose to focus on today. Won't you celebrate with me?

~Liz

The power of a song...

"The Words"

 ~ Christina Perri ~

All of the lights land on you

the rest of the world fades from view

and all of the love I see

Please, please say you feel it too

And all of the noise I hear inside

Restless and loud, unspoken and wild

and all that you need to say to make it all go away 

is that you feel the same way too

And I know the scariest part is letting go

'cause love is a ghost you can't control

I promise you the truth can't hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

And all of the steps that led me to you

and all of the hell I had to walk through

But I wouldn't trade a day, For the chance to say

'My love, I'm in love with you'

And I know the scariest part is letting go

'cause love is a ghost you can't control

I promise you the truth can't hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

I know that we're both afraid

We've both made the same mistakes

An open heart is an open wound to you

And in the wind of a heavy choice, 

love has a quiet voice

Still your mind, now I'm yours to choose

And I know the scariest part is letting go

Let my love be the light that guides you home

And I know the scariest part is letting go

'cause love is ghost you can't control

I promise you the truth can't hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

Perhaps this song doesn't mean much to many...but for me, it created a turning point, a chance to see my story from a different perspective and an opportunity to start the process of healing. And for that, I am forever grateful. God uses all sorts of things, people and methods to speak to His children. Never forget that, and always be willing to meet Him in those unexpected places.

~Liz

Breaking Free: Overcoming Fear

Just a short while ago I would never have voluntarily spent time with a group of guys knowing I would be the only female presence. Too much risk, too many fears to quell, the prospect for uncomfortable silences and possibility of something being perceived in the wrong way. It frightened me in ways I cannot even express...so I avoided those situations like the plague. Not to mention, there was no way that could happen, since I barely spent time in community with anyone I didn't live with, work with or attend church with if feasible. And I would usually choose to end those gatherings as quickly as possible to avoid connection on anything more than a superficial level. I'm not proud of this, but it is the truth.

Rather than attempting to see the best in others, especially those of the opposite gender, I decided to expect the worst. The thing is, people tend to live up to the expectations you place on them if you are unwilling to give them a chance. I moved from always giving others the benefit of the doubt to basically just assuming I would be disappointed sooner or later. So, with that dour outlook on life I dismissed so many opportunities to encourage, challenge and build relationships with my brothers.

I told myself it was for my own protection, but I knew I was being selfish deep down. I was judging others when I could only see part of the picture and being grossly unfair to those individuals. Just because I've been hurt before does not mean that will always be the end result. In this scenario grace was absent, love was squelched and mercy dismissed. Bitterness and blame flourished and hope was all but extinguished. What was the point, really?

I'll be the first to admit that I am fiercely independent, stubborn and proud to a fault. I have never been that girl that couldn't be defined without a significant other. Who needs men? My attitude towards males was scathing and harsher than they deserved. I assumed so many things, and my opinion of men in general plummeted to discouraging depths.

Failing to trust God in this area of my life served to create more issues (imagine that) and continue to foster a spirit of contention in my heart. But I wanted to break that destructive cycle. So I cried out to God to not only change my heart, but to give me opportunities to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex. No unreasonable expectations, no unfair assumptions, no unhealthy attitudes to cloud my view. Instead, I would choose to see men for what they are; created in the image of God, meant to be respected and appreciated and viewed as my brothers.

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My job is not to make sure men are up to a certain standard. Rather, I must focus on being a woman after God's heart and trust Him to work in lives and change hearts as only He can. I am responsible for my actions alone, not those of anyone else. And moving forward, I'm striving to carry that perspective. Because God commands me to love my brother, to refrain from judging, and to exhort my fellow man. I must be obedient and leave the rest in the hands of my sovereign Father.

God's got this. He is bigger than my fears, and offers the chance to start fresh, begin anew.