Five Minute Friday: #Wait

Here I am again, participating in this wonderful community of bloggers that take a one word prompt and just let the words flow from their fingers. You can visit here: five minute friday :: wait

This week the word is especially significant to me.

Wait.

I've been on a journey for the last few years that has taught me to wait. It started out a stark refusal to strive for patience. Then, a friend rebuked me for my disobedience, God used various people to speak truth into my life and I began to pray for patience, although not willingly. (for more, read this: Waiting on the Lord)

Whenever an individual asks me to pray for patience for them, I always ask if they are ready to practice that fruit of the Spirit. Because I know -- through experience; when you ask God for something, He gives opportunities to learn. Real life situations, the nitty-gritty details of our existence sent to teach us something of importance and value.

Which is exactly why I didn't want to pray for patience in the first place. I knew there would be no escaping it then. God always answers prayer, and not usually how we expect He will. So, I imagined days, months, even years of torture not having an answer for the questions heavy on my heart. But what I didn't consider is that there can be joy in the waiting.

And I am by no means claiming that I am an expert on waiting now...but I have come a long way to be sure. I have been purposefully praying for patience, and actually wanting to be taught those hard lessons of what it means to wait. I have learned so much, enjoyed the bliss of being still and letting God speak and have a hope that carries me on to the next thing.

Certainly I am not perfect, and I fail time after time in this quest for patience. But I know the One who holds my future in His hands -- and I can trust Him implicitly. That brings peace and contentment. What is next? I have no idea exactly how my life will unfold...but neither can I make it progress any faster. So, I continue to learn what it means to wait.

~Liz

Thoughts on The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (spoilers)

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Tauriel: [to Thanduil] There is no love in your heart!

Tauriel: [weeps for Kili] If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?
Thranduil: [sadly] Because it was real.

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This quote nearly had me undone. I was determined not to be emotional during this movie. And I probably wouldn't have, if it weren't for Tauriel...who is a made-up character. Pretty sure she isn't in the book at all. But, surprisingly enough, I found myself identifying with her in many ways.

She was strong, fierce and independent, but longed to belong somewhere. She yearned for love, even though she didn't quite understand the concept and she thrived on adventure. She pushed the limits, looked for unconventional ways to accomplish her goals and boy was she sassy! Red hair, ability with a bow, love of the outdoors...perhaps not at the same level, but I possess some of the same things. She rejected the planned out life others had set before her and decided to find her own fate. Regardless of what others thought, she followed her heart and refused to forsake those for whom she cared. She wasn't afraid to fight for what she believed in and pursued unlikely dreams even though failure was a very real risk. She had a loving heart, was loved and loved in return. But although she lost her love in the end, she never left his side while he was dying. She sought to defend him, protect him and did everything in her power to spare his life. She was all in. And it hurt -- because it was real.

While I haven't been forsaken by my family and people, fought orcs or lost my man on the battlefield, I share some of the same characteristics that made Tauriel such a fascinating individual. I don't know how her story ends. But I like to imagine that she went on to other adventures, fought bravely and loved with great passion. I want to believe that she didn't give up because of the sorrow she experienced. That she continued to pour herself into lives around her and invested in a cause bigger than herself.

Another thing to note is that although it was real; it is now over. Nothing Tauriel can do would bring Kili back to life no matter how much she wished for it. Yes, it happened and no one can take that away -- but now he is gone and she must continue on with her life. Time marches on whether or not we give permission. What will I do with the time allotted to me?   

Redemption: recovering what once was lost

Redemption - the word that has been on my mind for this upcoming year.

Again and again this theme shows up in the everyday mundane things of life. God repeatedly shows me that He can redeem a person, place or situation in ways I could never imagine. Activities I had given up as a lost cause, dreams I had buried, relationships that seemed hopeless, and places I thought I could never return to -- all redeemed and made beautiful once more because of His abundant grace in my life.

Last year was not what I would call a wonderful year. While I learned much and I'm thankful for those lessons, I have no desire to repeat the circumstances involved. As (almost) everyone seemed to be advertising on Facebook how great 2014 was for them, I couldn't have been more relieved to see it disappear in the rear view mirror. Don't get me wrong, there are experiences I wouldn't trade for anything. I had a sister move to the same state, found out I am going to be an auntie at long last and established some incredible friendships in the past twelve months. But, there were many difficult times and hard lessons that had to be learned.

Looking back, I can see a lot of deaths in my life in the past calendar year. There was physical death; I attended too many funerals and watched so many others lose a loved one unexpectedly. There was death of dreams; things I had to finally loose my hold on and trust God with my future instead. There was emotional death; I chose to pull away and isolate myself from people for a period of time because I decided it wasn't worth the risk. And there were little deaths scattered throughout. Not all of them were bad though. There was the death of fear, pride and insecurity among the other deaths observed. 

And moving forward, I can see dreams rekindled, fears relieved, joy restored, purpose renewed, plans revealed and redemption woven throughout the whole story.

O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.

Psalm 130:7

Five Minute Friday #Send

Well, here I am again a week later trying this whole writing consistently thing and attempting to be more intentional in my blogging. We shall see what happens... :)

Send.

If I'm perfectly honest, this word stirs up all sorts of emotions. Longing. Excitement. Fear. Impatience. Joy. just to name a few...

I've always loved to travel and begged God to send me anywhere. Unlike the "stereotypical" Christian who pleaded with God to send me anywhere but (fill in the blank) I yearned to just go. And several times it looked like a real possibility. But then reality kicked in. Plans fell through, finances never came together and time and time again my heart was disappointed.

First there was China. Not one, but two, three summers in a row I attempted to spend a few weeks teaching conversational English to university students there. However, God wanted me to stay. In America; in Iowa, in Kansas. I needed to work and save and get ready for the next semester of my studies. But oh, it was hard!

Then there was Turkey -- and this time it really looked feasible. A year long trip to pour out my life and my heart serving others on the other side of the world. But once again God said the timing was not yet right. So I stayed...and after many months, learned to be content where I was. 

So I put away those dreams to travel and serve and pour out myself for others while investing in precious lives. (And in the interim learned important lessons about patience, being present, and investing in lives wherever I might be) But God has rekindled those dreams and given me another location at long last. And finally the door is opening wider and wider as I walk towards it. 

Uganda. Pray with me, friends as I pursue the opportunity to take a survey trip in the next twelve to sixteen  months. I want to be faithful and to be a good steward of what God has given. So, I'm researching the possibility of visiting for a short while to determine whether I could stay for a longer period of time. 

You can read about more details in my other related posts: God works in mysterious ways, Daring to dream

"Here am I, send ME."

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This post was written in response to Five-Minute Friday, a (one word) writing prompt where you write for 5 minutes without editing.

Thanks for stopping by!
~Liz

5 Minute Friday: Welcome

Okay -- I'm new to this, but I'll give it a try at the very least. I recently discovered a community of bloggers that participate in Five Minute Friday as a way to encourage and bless each other and it looks like fun! So, here goes...

the prompt is Welcome:

Go!

My first thoughts are of home and how anyone and everyone was (and still is) welcome there. No matter what. Often, my parents didn't even notice an extra person at the table until halfway through dinner. We just brought people home because it was a safe haven, a place where you just felt comfortable...and loved.

I remember earlier in my childhood I despaired at my 'friends' seeing our home. It was so imperfect, and I was embarrassed. We didn't have matching furniture, fancy drapes, spotless carpet or famous artwork. We did have pictures of loved ones, treasured drawings that my siblings had created, and most importantly -- acceptance and love. And I learned that those are the things that make a home.

Now I understand that it is easier to feel welcome in a place that is lived-in. No worries about mussing the throws on the couch, staining the carpet or accidentally knocking over an expensive vase. Instead, there is evidence that people have eaten recently and there is more to consume if one is interested. The blankets on the sofa may not be folded perfectly, but they are warm and ready to snuggle beneath. Yes, the pictures may be crooked...but that just gives more character.

That is my welcome home. Comfort. Love. Acceptance. Imperfect and sometimes messy, but oh what a beautiful mess it is!

Stop.